There is a distinct sound to panic. For a long time, it sounded like the city—the relentless, screeching noise of traffic, sirens, and endless concrete that used to trigger my nervous system and push me straight to the edge.

Not anymore.

Starting today with a heavy dose of gratitude, because being away from all of that noise changes everything. At my new place, it's actually quiet. It gives my mind room to breathe, to slow down, and to just exist without scanning for threats every single second.

When you've known what it's like to be homeless—when you've survived the brutal, grinding reality of living on the streets—you never take a quiet room, a locked door, and a safe roof for granted. That is a hard, hard life to live, and the echoes of it don't just vanish overnight.

Surviving that kind of existence teaches you how to find light in the darkest corners. It's why I write, why I reflect, and why I try to ground myself every single morning. If you're walking through your own heavy season and looking for a way to anchor your mind, I wrote something about this exact process: Beyond Striving: How a Gratitude Journal Can Bring Grace and Spiritual Renewal.

It brings me joy to make music by whatever means necessary, meaning the tracks aren't always studio-ready, to say the least—though my passion is there. The quality is getting better; I just wish it was perfect all the time, ha!

I still post to YouTube! You can check out my YouTube channel here.

Though I don't post there quite as much as I do on Instagram. Because Instagram is a lot more social, and that’s what I'm into. I enjoy the social aspect of direct messaging and whatnot. You can visit my Instagram page here.

Audius is such a neat platform that I've been experimenting with. I use it every now and then to post my tracks—you can check it out here.

I'm going to be posting and creating some more new podcast episodes. What is my show about? Not really sure, to be honest—I do enjoy talking about a lot of things. Some topics are not easy, while others come more naturally for me.

Others are always commenting about the fact that I have a podcast, so much that I can't help myself but to create more episodes. So I'm glad to be of service to others! 🐕‍🦺

I mostly upload my episodes to Spreaker. I've been using them for years, so you'll likely have a really good listening experience there. My Spreaker podcast homepage is right here—click this URL to start hearing some episodes.

Spotify is alright; I've got some episodes there too, though I'm not a huge fan of their platform. If that's your preferred app, here is my Spotify podcast profile.

Hopefully, my medical situation will improve. I'm trying to understand why my chest palpitations are so unforgiving—some days they are nonexistent, while other days they're landing me in the emergency room. Either way, I'm talking positively to myself, hoping and praying as usual. I'm starting to believe again that my body is stronger than I give it credit for, though I still need answers regarding my dizzy spells and everything else.

On top of that, I still have war-related nightmares on the regular. These nightmares are super hard for me to process, let alone remember the next morning.

And my hypervigilance is so annoying—always scanning for threats.

I've been following Andrew Huberman heavily lately, relentlessly searching for any edge to get healthier and heal. His advice cuts straight to the core of everything I'm grinding through right now. His website is an absolute goldmine—you can check it out here. I deeply admire how fiercely respected he is inside the medical field for a reason.

I just picked up his new book today, and I am already hooked. I appreciate his rare ability to take these hyper-sophisticated, complex medical concepts and break them down so we can actually understand the why behind how our bodies work. If you want to check it out, here is a link to his new book protocols.

On top of all that, I found out he's a skateboarder—and man, I used to skate too! Not nearly as much as I want to nowadays, but the fire is still there. I constantly catch myself thinking about driving out to a skatepark, dropping back in, and reclaiming that part of myself. I've got a complete skateboard setup sitting right there waiting for me. I just need to make it happen. No excuses.

My life has not been easy. I've tried to chill, as they say. I've seen the world, and then I realized a brutal truth: it will continue to spin with or without me in it.

Maybe it's all the books on philosophy and time management I've been drowning myself in. According to them, I'm wasting my life away—doing what? I don't even know. Between trying to figure out why my chest palpitations are so unforgiving—sending me from zero to landing in the emergency room on the worst days—and trying to find answers for these dizzy spells, everyday life can feel like a heavy uphill climb.

Then there's the invisible weight. I still have war-related nightmares on the regular. These nightmares are super hard for me to process, let alone remember the next morning, and my hypervigilance is so exhausting—always scanning for threats, even when I'm just trying to rest.

I tried depression medicine, and my body flat-out rejected it, so I've pivoted to a more holistic approach for now. Say no to drugs, kids! Unless, of course, they are actually life-saving.

Life is brutal and unfair. That's just the stark reality, and the depths of my mind definitely go there. But making music, searching for health, and pushing forward anyway is how I keep moving.

WHO HAVE I BEEN FOLLOWING LATELY ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE INTERNET